Finally realizing after another Valentines day that a box of chocolates or a heart shaped necklace or a faulty pregnancy test doesn't get the girl of your dreams I just don't know what men could possibly to do make a women happy. I understand that women are very tough creatures to make happy but men bust their ass to try and make them happy. I saw so many of my friends get stuff for the girlfriends/wives. fiances and what not.... the women's reactions were more fake then their hellos to girls they don't like. "OHH hunny this is exactly what I wanted." "Sweetheart are you a mind reader (slowly turn and roll eyes)" "Baby I've always wanted a X Box!" I truly think that if women would just be honest things would go much smoother. You don't have to say, "I hate this" or anything like that but it would be nice to just hear the truth sometimes. Because in truth there is love. Oh honey I wasn't really expecting this but I know you tried hard to get me a perfect gift.
This leads me to the real problem at hand. LADIES! If you want a particular thing for Valentines Day, your birthday, christmas, Channukah, or any other crazy holiday then just tell us. We will get it for you i promise (as long as it's not the size of the ring Kobe bought for his wife, and by buying that... buying back her love and affectiong). Men don't know what to get you. It does reflect that they don't listen. But if you are dropping little hints to them they aren't going to pick it up. You gotta just say.... THAT WOULD BE AN UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE GIFT FOR VALENTINES DAY! We do not pick up on the small stuff. I know you think we are clueless and it is not that at all, it's just the fact that when it comes to shopping for girls we don't want to get you clothes because some guys don't have style or know your size and dont want to ask you because they want it to be a surprise. And ear rings? Really? Come on... that is nearly impossible unless you're with him. If you just open up and help us out a little i know you will be happier with the gift giving process. Men hate to shop, tell them what you want so you get at least one thing that you are going to be happy you're getting and then let him get you something stupid from the dollar store that he was going to get you anyway. Which are just funny presents that are an inside joke to both of you and I think those are the best presents. We try, and we try.... we just can't do it on our own... please.... help us. And help us wake up, remind us to put the toilet seat down, do the dishes after we use them, light a match after using the bathroom, and other small things that we always forget. I think if this process is followed then we could lower the divorce rate from 50% to 48.8%.... and that's a lot of people, all because of communication.
The Love Doctor,
Joey Paull
P.S-
Caine, you were right I didn't get with anyone at the wedding.
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