The struggle of a man's first kiss

The first, as they are called, "french kiss" a man has is one of the most awkward moments in their young lives.  You start by kissing, do not know if she wants the tongue unless she is an aggressive 5th grader.  Then the tongue play starts.  Note: this is right after you found out what happens when you get turned on.   As the kiss gets more intense, and by more intense I mean your tongue is almost up her nose, you are starting to feel that weird feeling downstairs.  So you back away, but keep your upper body connected to hers.  But as a fifth grader you are way to embarrassed to let her know what is "truly" going on.  Even though she probably has older sisters who explained it to her a year before, which would've helped to know (at least in my case).  Then right before the recess bell rings you are asked if you don't like her because you were pulling away the whole time..... which, she doesn't know, but was not the case at all.  You just didn't wanna stab her leg.  At that age it's not like you sit down after the kiss and talk about what you could do to make it better, or how it was for her?  You just think you are the man.  Until lunch time, when everyone is pointing and laughing at the kid who pulls his whole lower body away from the girl he is kissing because he is embarrassed.  Well, that didn't help the embarrassment part at all.  The first kiss a man, and just guessing but a woman has.... if anyone ever says it was the best kiss they've ever had, straight liar.  When you have your eyes open, are barely touching each other except on the lips and just have your hands on her hips like she is your grandmother who you are helping up the steps... it can not be "magical", as we all thought it was at the time.  And I was so bad, I got dumped a week later... even though I didn't know we were going out.  It truly is a very tough time for a kid who has his first kiss, and for me, even tougher.... because I still kiss that way.